I shave my legs, sit down to pee, and I can justify any shopping spree.

I don’t go to the barber but a beauty salon. I can get a message without a hard-on.

I can balance the checkbook. I can pump my own gas, can talk to my friends about the size of my ass.

My beauty’s a masterpiece and yes, it takes long at least I can admit to others when I’m wrong.

I don’t drive in circles at any cost, and I don’t have a problem admitting I’m lost.

I never forget an important date. You just gotta deal with it I’m usually late.

I don’t watch movies with lots of gore, don’t need an instant replay to remember the score.

I won’t lose my hair or get jock itch, and just cause I’m assertive don’t call me a bitch.

Don’t say to your friends oh yeah, I can get her or in your dreams, oh dear I can do better.

Flowers are okay but jewellery’s best. Look at me you idiot, not at my chest !!

I don’t have a problem with expressing my feelings. I know when you’re lying you look at the ceiling.

Don’t call me a girl, a babe, or a chick. I am a WOMAN, get it?  You dick!


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